Our cat brought a snake into the living room. Allow to me to share the event with you-
Jane: SCREAM!
Me: What's- AAAAUUUGHHHHH!!!
Atticus: Wire got a slug! Jane's scared.
Me: EEEEeeeeEEEEegh!
Lizzie stands, passively observing the situation.
Atticus: Look at the sluuuuuug.
Jane: SCREAM!!!
Me: Wire, back outside! AAH IT'S STILL MOVING!! WIRE! OUTSIDE!
Wire goes outside, leaving the snake.
Atticus: Poke the slug?
Me: Nononono!
Jane: SCREAM!
Me: Atticus, look for a stick so we can put the snake outside...
Lizzie: Stick?
Me: Where have all the sticks gone?!?!
Atticus: Jane's scared of the snake.
Jane: SCREEEEEAAAAM!
Me: HOW DO I GET IT OUTSIDE?
Lizzie: Paper?
Me: Good idea, Lizzie.
Lizzie starts coloring on the walls.
I go get about 5 sheets of paper, and then stand over the snake, wishing I could do anything else than what I'm about to do. Anything. Else.
Jane: SCREAM!!
Me: Atticus, open the door.
I bend down, pick up the snake with the paper like you would a tissue with a spider, fling it outside and slam the door shut.
I sit on my heels, breathing heavily and fight an urge to burn the house down so I won't have to live here with this memory.
The End.
November 2016
7 years ago
4 comments:
Bless you Michelle, bless you.
I probably would have sided with Atticus and poked it.
I had a snake in the house once and had to go get my neighbor to take it out for me. I get it.
That gave me the biggest smile of the night!
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